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Misc Phantom Phunnies which seem to find no category - if you have any pieces of humor to submit, it would be appreciated!
Humor: iMask
Submitted by: T.P.D.
Date posted: 08/21/00
Bored of the same old mask? Tired of spending 100 francs (plus tax) on this?
Now there are six!!! different "flavors" to choose from! No longer will eyes be weary of the same old white and grey, but a cool frosty white with "Scrumptious Strawberry", "Tangy Tangerine", "Lemony Lemon", "Limey Lime", "Bodacious Blueberry", or "Groovey Grape"! Available at your local Phantom shop for 999 francs (plus tax) or we can ship it to your house for only 99 francs more (plus tax and tip)!
The many "flavors" of iMask
"I love their new colors...{sniff} just imagine what new technology will dawn on us tomorrow!" says a grateful consumer of iMask.
Buy yours today and get .384675% discount (sorry, tax still included)!You can also order from The Apple Store by calling 1-800-IM-A-SUCKER.
[PS: This is a spoof of iMac; it is a property of AppleŽ Computer, Inc.]
Humor: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Submitted By: Eleanor
Date posted: 12/19/99
What the characters of ALW's Phantom would answer if they were asked the famous question: Why did the chicken cross the road? This was inspired by a friend's hilarious e-mail forward. Phantom
"So long as Raoul stays on his own grounds, I wouldn't give a damn. In fact, I hope he gets hit by a carriage!"Christine
"What was the question?"Raoul
"I shall save the chicken and foolishly risk my life to save it, because I am the hero!"Carlotta
"Tell me, Ubaldo - would chicken feathers be a better replacement for zis mink fur adornment?"Andre
"It's ludicrous! Simply ludicrous!"Firmin
"Unless if the chicken can get rid of the Phantom, I frankly don't care."Madame Giry
"The chicken sees, the chicken knows!"Meg Giry
"I don't know... but would you like to hear about the Opera Ghost today?"Piangi (taking out a bib, fork, and knife)
"Where's ze chicken, you say?"
Humor: Therapy with the Phantom
Submitted By: Crysania
Date posted: 9/05/99
What would happen if Erik decided to get therapy, and the shrink was a phan? Well, here's an idea: Erik: "Well, doc, you see, I have this problem. I'm in love with this girl, Christine...
Female Shrink: "Uh...uh...my God...it's ERIK!!"
Erik: "...and I'd do anything to get her..."
Female Shrink: "Uh...uh...my God...it's ERIK!!"
Erik: "...even kill someone. I've done it in the past..."
Female Shrink: "Uh...uh...my God...he's on my couch!!"
Erik: "...hey shrink, are you paying any attention to me???"
Female Shrink: (tongue hanging out) "MY couch!! MY COUCH!! Wait'll my friends hear!!"
Erik: "Hey, you know, I have a problem here..."
Female Shrink: "Wow...ERIK...wait'll the phans hear!!"
Erik: "Look, don't make me use my punjab lasso..."
Female Shrink: "Everyone will be so jealous...the real Phantom of the Opera...hey, can you sing Music of the Night?"
Erik: "Yeah, this is helping..."
This goes on forever, until, an angry Erik leaves the psychiatric ward...on the way out, the secratary asks if he wants another appointment. Erik takes the book and signs the shrink up for an appointment with another psychiatrist, saying, "She needs it."
