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Phantom Top Ten

Ever seen the Dave Letterman show? If you have, you might know that he's famous for creating the "top ten list." This part of the site contains such lists, pertaining to Phantom only. If you have a Top Ten list (or more) to be submitted, you are more than welcomed to drop me a note, with the subject field titled as "POTO Top Ten". If you do not wish your e-mail to be revealed, then please submit your list to the message boards entitled "Phantom Top Ten". A major thank you to all the kind folks at the Masquerade forum for contributions!

Keep in mind, all lists are copyrighted to their authors - no stealing for your website unless you ask me (and I will personally ask the author). Another reminder, the lists aren't meant to be offensive in any way, so please do not send hate mail to anyone.

 


Top Ten signs you're in love with Erik:

By The Phantom Dreamer <moi> (Thanks to littlelotte6 for Sign #5)

10) If you ever see someone spell Erik's name with a "c" at the end, you go into hysterics.
9) You actually have an argument about that point with the person.
8) Whenever Raoul pops into the scene during the show, you have a insistent urge to get up onstage and kick the crap outta him (let's just forget about the actor and concentrate on his character)
7) "There is too an opera ghost!" "No there isn't." "Yes there is!" "No there isn't." -- and so on.
6) You find yourself drawing masks instead of paying attention to your boring English Lit teacher (or whatever subject).
5) You rate potential suitors on a 1 to 10 scale of their "Erikness"
4) You have the tendency to drool when you see a huge picture of him.
3) If someone declares Erik as ugly/heartless/murderer, you punch 'em, kick 'em, or any other forms of hurt.
2) "Who are you calling obsessive!?"
1) You start acting like Erik (ex: laughing maniacally during the quiet parts of the show, start writing all your letters in red ink, drop a chandelier at the local theater, etc.)

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Top Ten Complaints of Raoul:

By The Phantom Dreamer

10) Christine's always running from me to go back to Erik.
9) How come a suit would look better on him than me?
8) Why do I have such a cheesy name?
7) That "Angel of Music" talk Christine gives me is starting to annoy the hell outta me
6) Madame Giry just has to talk in riddles!
5) The Persian fellow never knows when to shut up.
4) My big bro think he's such a hotshot - explains why he's still single at forty.
3) Everybody's always rooting for the bad guy in this story.
2) Nobody ever appreciates what I do.
1) How come nobody ever likes me?

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Top Ten Ways to irritate the managers:

By Eriklaudia

10) Send them notes signed O.G.
9) Complain about their casting choices
8) Make a mess in "their" opera.
7) Throw a chandelier on someone's head.
6) Ruin their self-confidence by appearing in a Masquerade party better dressed than they are.
5) Laugh hard at their faces without being seen.
4) Make their prima donna sing like a toad.
3) Throw a hanged corpse on stage.
2) Order them to produce the opera you created.
1) Order them to produce the opera you created and then kill the leading man.

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Top Ten reasons for Christine to be single:

By ShadowBody and Phantom Dreamer

10) No one will think she's crazy.
9) A man in a mask won't drag her all over the theatre.
8) A childhood sweatheart won't drag her all over the theatre.
7) No more long nights under the opera house, while Erik plays the organ all night long. How's a girl supposed to get any sleep?
6) Male rivals won't try and kill each other, cause there won't be any.
5) No more wierd voices inside her head that talks to her, saying he's the Angel of Music her dead father sent to teach her how to sing
4) [according to the musical] No more pointless confrontations with crabby ol' Carlotta.
3) [according to the musical] Avoid getting chandeliers dropped at her feet
2) Mama Valerius doesn't have to be crazy with her
1) We can't think of any more reasons because if Christine was single, then who would Phantom fall in love with? Meg? Peh!

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Top Ten reasons to like Raoul:

By phantomphan665

* Note - I'm going to go in the reverse order...since I know so many on here prefer Phantom to Raoul ;)

10) He's got bucks!
9) He doesn't live in a lair down by the river (SNL fans should get that one! :)
8) He doesn't "do" random acts of violence for attention
7) Proved you don't have to be an "angel of music" to get the girl in the end.
6) Will swim out into the sea to fetch your red scarf
5) Is willing to spend his last 30 francs on a monkey in persian robes playing the cymbals..
4) He still loves you even when everyone thinks you have gone mad
3) He doesn't have to wear a mask
2) He actually wants to be in a committed relationship!
1) He won't be needing Johnny Cochrane to defend his murder trial

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Top Ten reasons the Persian is the coolest character

By Shannyn

10) He seems to be the onlyone able to stay calm.
9) He knows what he's doing
8) He's the only other guy who knows about Erik and christine and isn't in love with her
7) He really does give a flying f*ck about Erik's feelings.
6) He's good at trying to save the day without getting anyone killed
5) He's the only guy with enough guts to challenge the masked murderer himself
4) He knows he'll probably die and he doesn't give a damn!
3) He's weird (just like me)
2) He makes people wonder what the hell he's doing and he does it well
1) He knows how much sh*t he's getting into and he does it anyway for the sake of other people!

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Top Ten reasons to hate Erik's mother, Madeleine

By ANGELOFNIGHT and Phantom Dreamer

10) She had been a brat when she was a child.
9) Still a brat now.
8) Christine later looks like her.
7) She didn't acknowledge Erik's birthday.
6) She didn't name him after her late husband simply because he was deformed.
5) She would rather treat a 'talking' statue like a son than Erik.
4) She was spoiled.
3) She'd rather have a dog keep her company than her son.
2) Did we mention spoiled brat?
1) She hurt Erik. That is intolerable to any Phantom phan, and anybody who should dare touch a hair on his skin should be put through the torture chamber, have a chandelier crash on their head, and then punjabbed.

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*Note from the author ~ Thi followin' post contains adult themes an shouldnae be read by wee bairns oor obsessed Christian puritans.

Top Ten Reasons POTO is Better Than Sex:

By MacPhantom

10. Where else do you get a one on one (AIAOY), a three-way (Final Scene), and group action (Masquerade) all in one evening?
9. When it's over, you don't have to stick around for breakfast.
8. You get a nice 10 minute intermission to catch your breath.
7. You save your vocal chords, since you aren't the one bellowing out the high notes at the best parts.
6. All you need do is buy a ticket, sit back, and let them do all the work.
5. You don't have to be as embarrassed when you tell your friends "It was so good, I cried".
4. You can buy the CD, and then it's there whenever you want it, as much as you need it.
3. The whole kinky mask and cape thing.
2. Your personal inadequacies vanish in comparison to the 50 year-old virgin.
1. It lasts a full 2 1/2 hours.

Thi above post is thi sole creation ay Ian Angus Macfarlane. 'owever, since 'e wis tae cheap tae copyright it, anyin' whae steals it will get awa' scot- free. Thi above post wis meant tae offend an corrupt, but since Ian Angus Macfarlane disnae legally own it, Ian Angus Macfarlane accepts nae responsibility fir tramatic disfunctions an disorders resultin' fae readin' thi above post.

*Note from the webmistress - Ian, you're so bad. Keep it up!
;-)

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Top Ten reasons to be Erik (or be like Erik)

By Phantom Dreamer

10) You certainly know how to make a grand entrance.
9) Always the center of attention - ballet girls talk about you all the time in their gossip.
8) You can make many of the female phans swoon ;-)
7) You always get the best music themes.
6) You get dozens of books written about you, fan fics written about you, shows made about you, videos and specials documenting you, websites dedicated to you, etc. etc. etc.
5) Scare the hell out of your audience by merely laughing.
4) You're the only one who gets to wear a really cool cape/cloak in the show
3) Ever wonder how it feels like to swing to and fro atop of a chandelier, climb the lyre of Apollo, or wearing that god damned mask 24/7?
2) Punjab any person who gets testy on you.
1) If your own girlfriend (well, more like the person you love) gets testy, drop a chandelier at her feet.

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10 Reasons to Feel Sorry About Piangi:

By Eriklaudia

10) He can't climb on an elephant.
9) His name is Ubaldo.
8) He has to stand Carlotta.
7) Now he can't argue when someone tells him he lives with a toad.
6) He can't sing "those who tangle with Don Juan".
5) He has nothing of a Don Juan.
4) Erik doesn't like him.
3) Passarino seems more clever than him.
2) No one pays attention to him.
1) He has to get killed to get rid of Carlotta.


10 Reasons Why Madame Giry is Cool.

By Eriklaudia

10) She bangs her stick on the floor and everybody obeys.
9) She knows no one can go wrong with a black dress.
8) She talks in riddles.
7) She has more sense than the managers.
6) Her daughter cares for her friends, even though they seem delirious.
5) She knows how important it is to put your hand at the level of your eyes.
4) She knows how to build mistery around her.
3) She knows what Erik's capable of.
2) She respects Erik.
1) She doesn't respect Carlotta.

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Top Ten insulting things to say to Carlotta

By Shannyn

10) Sing: 1-800-98-JENNY
9) "Croak!"
8) "You know that beaded Hannibal costume makes you look heavy, right?"
7) "Prima Donna my ass!"
6) "Ever consider taking voice lessons?"
5) "How can you love a guy named Ubaldo?!"
4) Do some thing a' la Scott Evil and sneeze the word " Toad!"
3) "Wow! You sound a heck of a lot better than the other cows!"
2) "You really think you can pull off that outfit?"
1) Tell her that she and Piangi belong together, considering neither of them know how to sing.

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Top Ten signs you're obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera:

By littlelotte6

10. When you see Antonio Banderes' poster in the movie theater, you point at it and shout menacingly," YOU WILL NEVER BE ERIK!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!"
9. You cannot fall asleep unless the last thing you hear is "The Music of the Night."
8. Your favorite flowers are long stemmed, red roses.
7. Whenever you mention "Erik" or "Phantom", your friends just roll their eyes and say "here she goes again."
6. You hang out in the basement a lot more than you used to.
5. You are counting down the days, hours, and minutes till you see it for first time.
4. You are a member of the "Phantom shower singers" club.
3. Everyone you know is painfully aware of your obsession, and worried about it.
2. You giggle and blush uncontrollably whenever anybody says, or does anything that remotely reminds you of POTO.
1. You write POTO top ten lists when you should be doing your homework.

*Note from the webmistress ~ Phantom Shower Singers Club??

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Top Ten Secret Wishes/Desires of POTO Characters:

By MacPhantom

10. Mme. Giry: A Tie-Dye Tee-Shirt and a pair of pink hot-pants.
9. Piangi: A "Big New-Yorker" Pizza Hut pizza, with the works.
8. Carlotta: Her own 2-hour PBS concert, featuring a duet with special guest singer Andrea Bocelli.
7. Joseph Buquet: Another line or two before the lynching.
6. Meg Giry: A wild Friday Night party with plenty of cheap booze, just to piss her mother off.
5. Andre: A romantic evening alone with Carlotta.
4. Raoul: To improve his SAT scores so that he doesn't get kicked out of the chess-club.
3. Firmin: A romantic evening alone with Andre.
2. Christine: A giant Bowie-knife (she's a complex girl).
1. Erik: An hour alone with a hot co-ed cheerleader.

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Top Ten ways to piss a Phantom off

By Phantom Dreamer

10) Start praising La Carlotta and say she has a wonderful voice
9) Complain how Christine is a twit with hopeless dreams
8) Be the lead female in the next opera
7) Mention how the managers are doing such a wonderful job with the opera.
6) If you recieve anonymous notes signed by 'O.G.' with demands, write a note back saying "Bite me."
5) Better yet, write it in pink. (refer to the above)
4) When you hear maniacal laughing, laugh harder. Hopefully a maniacal laughing contest begins.
3) Track him, follow him around endlessly and beg for an autograph (this statement is in regards to phans only)
2) "Oh my gosh, look! It's Christine!" *snatch mask away* "Ha! Made you look!"
1) You're rich, you're handsome, and you're in love with a chorus girl by the name of Christine Daae.

Warning: Doing the following actions [or being the] above can be hazardous to your health. Beware of Punjab lassos, falling chandeliers, and especially a dark, mysterious man dressed from head to toe in clad black and a mask. Be afraid - watch your back when in the dark, don't purchase seats with chandeliers above your head, and keep your hand to the level of your eyes. Don't say I didn't warn you.

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Top Ten reasons to like the scene "Point of No Return"

By potonyc

10. The music is great
09. The Phantom and Christine can get somewhere
08. The suspense
07. Everyone likes romance
06. No falling chandelier or notes
05. You can finally see what The Phantom wants
04. Interesting and casual costumes - you don't have to be blinded by sequins or glitzy stuff
03. You can finally see The Phantom's full deformed face
02. You can fantasize being on stage with a the sexy looking actor in one of the roles.
01. Raoul is not in the scene

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Top Ten ways to recognize a phan

By Ami

10. They sing "He's here, the Phantom of the Opera!" at random.
9. They stop and stare into big mirrors.
8. They absolutely adore red roses!!
7. They smile warmly at anyone named Erik.
6. They smile warmly whenever anyone *says* Erik (even if it's being screamed in the grocery store at the top of some frazzled mother'slungs)
5. When asked if they are busy, they say "Yes, I have an appointment with my Angel."
4. They stand in card stores and drool on the Phantom ornament.
3. They push the button of said ornament over and over and over and...you get the idea.
2. They wear a little mask somewhere on their person (a necklace, apin, a shirt, a hat, a tattoo...)
1. They have a tendency to freeze in the middle of the mall, the street, the subway... if Music of the Night is playing.


Top Ten reasons to ditch Raoul for Erik

By operaghost@floodcity.net

10.  Erik has a nicer voice
9.    Erik doesn't whine

8.    Erik doesn't say that he's fought so hard to free you when he really hasn't
7.    Erik has a better looking wardrobe.

6.    Erik is mature
5.    Erik is a musical genius
4.    Erik love love love love loves you!
3.    Erik is very dignified
2.    Four words  :  Music of the Night
1.    He has an awesome house!


Top Ten ways to annoy your sister with Phantom

By: Samantha Ellis

10. Make her read your Phan Phic
9. Drool and screech whenever you see anything that has the words 'Phantom' or 'Opera' on it
8. Buy her POTO presents, knowing full well you're going to get them back
7. Leave your POTO CD in her player, so when she turns it on to listen to N'Sync, Music of the Night comes on instead
6. Stick your POTO bean bags on the shelves with her teddy bears
5. Drive her around in your Phantomobile
4. Go with her to the mall, wearing a POTO t-shirt, hat, socks, watch, and everything else Phantom and sing the songs at the top of your lungs in the stores
3. Run around the house with your dad's black bathrobe around your shoulders and a white towel over half your face
2. Whenever her friends call and you answer the phone, laugh maniacally and say "No! You can not speak with her. She's a prisoner of the Phantom of the Opera."
1. Cover her Leonardo DiCaprio posters with pictures of Michael Crawford.


Top Ten signs you're obsessed with Phantom - Part II

By T.P.D.

10. If you see the gigantic mask anywhere, preferably in magazine ads, you tend to get excited even though it's only an ad.
9. You're always eyeing the chandelier above your head
8. A ridiculous argument between your phriend (also as crazed) ensues over who's more obsessed
7. Death to Raoul
(even though he's not even real)!!!!!
6. You play dress up as a character, even though it's a thing you did at age... seven?
5. You know your favorite Phantom actor's email address, real address, and home phone.
4. You know your favorite Phantom actor's life better than your own.
3. After spending so much time on the net chatting about Phantom, checking email for Phantom trades, and visiting Phantom websites, someone mentions to you about the Elian case. "Oh, is he a relative?"
2. Your friends are beginning to wonder why your closet has clothes fit for funerals, why you have candles surrounding the place instead of electricity, why there's a "Death to Antonio" poster right next to your "Death to Raoul" sign, and why you named your shadow Erik. Oh yea, not to mention a gigantic organ placed in a comfortable corner of the room right near your coffin - er, bed.
1. Men with no nose, little hair, and a skeletal frame suddenly seem appeasing to you (in regards to women).


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